UPDATE:

Thank you all... the fact yal took the time to read such a long rant means alot. I'm sure alot of yal are right and he doesn't know what to do. But at the same time I think some of it is me, I'm so emotional anymore I know I'm alot to deal with. We talked some tonight, but we got in a bit of a fight and it didn't go how I wanted. We've been fighting alot lately and sometimes I'm not sure how to prevent it.

Thank you ladies, again.

Sorry for such a long post... I just need a "friend"

I'm a regular member posting anon... I don't want to be judged.

I love my husband. More than anything. We will be married a year this month, together for 4. But things have gotten so hard sometimes, I just want to run. A month after we got married, my mom (who I am extremely close to as she was essentially a single mom) fell ill. The first 3 months of our marriage was spent apart as I was in the hospital with her. Mom passed away in February. We fell pregnant in January, but lost our baby a week after my mom died. Ever since... things aren't the same. He's happy. Reguardless of how hard, he's not giving up. It's me. Nothing is good enough for me. I feel alone constantly. In constantly hurting from the loss of mom and baby. I expect him to be there and just take away the pain. But he can't be everything. We just got in a fight because I am hurting. Someone did something to me that was the straw that broke the camels back and I expect him to fix it and yet he can't and I felt like he didn't care. He laid down and I bawled for 30 minutes because I hurt so bad and he never tried to hold me. And all I wanted while I was crying was to be held. He knows that's all I want. But he's "tired."

It's not that he doesn't try. He sacrifices so much for us. He's working 2 full time jobs. He devotes endless amount of time for us. He does so much to show love and I feel loved.... Until something goes awry. When we argue he wants time away and to think and I need to deal with it right then. We can't find a happy medium. And things like him not holding me when I'm crying weigh heavy on me. When we have a fight or when I'm hurting I feel so alone I don't know why I bother with him. In the good times I'm beyond happy. I see dreams come true. I see future. But when we fight or when I'm depressed... I wanna run. He's not good enough. He can't fix it. He didn't hold me, so he must not care. He won't stay up and help me through this night I'm missing mom, so he doesn't care. It's all irrational. But I know that until tomorrow, I'll be thinking about going. And it's me, not him. And there's no good reason for it.

Yes. I'm in therapy. I've taken the first step. Yes I know I sound like a spoiled 16 year old. But I'm 27, this is my 2nd marriage and please take into consideration I'm 6 months into mourning my mom and my child and so I feel I'm not exactly mentally stable.....

I'm just lost..