Chemical Pregnancy

Mere 🍄 • 26; PhD student; wife; fur mom; hoooooosier
I got a BFP 12dpo (on Monday), and when I tested again today (15dpo) it was completely negative. All signs are pointing to a chemical pregnancy. 
This week has been so crazy for me. My husband and I didn't expect we'd get pregnant, so when we did we kind of had mixed emotions (for many different reasons). Yesterday I felt like we both were starting to get excited about it, so now I'm struggling to understand how I'm feeling. 
Relieved because we can wait for a better time... Sad because I started imagining our future with the baby... Lonely because I can't tell anyone what happened... In denial that maybe it will still happen... Impatient for my period to show up so I'll know it's really not happening... 
TTC is a crazy journey for sure.