After 21 hours of labor and no food when my baby was born she was starving! We did skin to skin and waited for her to latch to my breast on her own but wouldn't. The nurses started mentioning that I had flat nipples so I was given a breast shield. She still would not latch on. This started crushing my breastfeeding plans but I didn't care. My baby was hungry and needed to eat so I asked for formula and they would not give me none. They said "If she's hungry she'll latch on." WTF!!! I was livid! How are they going to say that. They kept trying and trying to get her to latch but she was screaming because my poor baby was really hungry and you could hear and feel her little stomach growling. Finally I was brought a bottle but they only let her drink 20ml or cc's as they called them. They also gave me a paper saying the risks of formula feeding 🤔 i did not like that at all. Well she calmed down but I knew she was still hungry. She had been awake since 3:04 am when she was born until about 6 am. She woke up again at 8 hungry so I gave the breast shield another shot. With a lot of difficulty she latched! I was so happy because I got her to latch all by myself without any help. At 9 I was finally moved to my own room. The lactation consultant came and introduced herself and that was it even after I mentioned to her my questions and concerns. Even though I got her to latch on with the breast shield she said I should try without it but never did she help me or guide me on how to do it. I was so frustrated. So as the day went on baby was doing fine until about 1 am. She stopped latching and she would just scream and cry because she was hungry. I would hear and feel her little tummy growling and rumbling. I had my boyfriend call the nurse to bring a bottle of formula and she never came! Baby just fell asleep. At 3 am she woke up again and still wouldn't latch. I started to cry hysterically. My poor baby was hungry and I couldn't do anything about it and the stupid nurse wouldn't even give me formula for her. I couldn't stop crying then my boyfriend started crying with me so I finally decided to call the nurse in charge. I was hysterical and told her how I called my nurse an hour ago and she didn't come so she said she was going to make her take me formula. Finally she came with only 2 bottles that are only good for an hour and I got to feed my baby and everything was all better. The nurse then brought me a breast pump so I can still give baby colostrum and formula.  The next morning at 9 I tried to breast feed again and she latched on for about 10 mins and was good. At around 1 I had visitors over, my mom, her best friend, and my best friend. Baby got hungry so I tried to breast feed and she wouldn't latch again. My mom finally said "fuck it I'm giving her this bottle" and she ate and was good. I felt like I was getting postpartum depression. All I wanted to do was cry. I felt like such a failure.It was I kept it together with them there but when they left it was just me and my best friend. She watched baby as I showered. In the shower I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. My whole pregnancy the plan was to breast feed and the hospital was pro breastfeeding but, they were not teaching me, guiding me, on how to do it. I began to feel like I was being forced to breastfeed when I had already given up. At 4 I was hysterical again. I was holding my baby just looking at her crying my eyes out and a nurse walked in. She asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. Well she was another lactation consultant so she actually took some time (about 15 mins 😒) to see what the problem was. She realized baby didn't want to latch on but she got a call and got up and left me literally in the middle of helping me. My nurse came in at 5 and asked how many times baby has fed and it was only 2 times all day. That broke my heart. They werent giving me formula to feed her and I was being forced to breast feed when I didn't want to anymore. The lactation consultant finally gave my nurse the green light to let me formula feed and everything went so much better from there. I was still a little depressed that I wasn't able to breast feed but as long as my baby wasn't hungry that's all that mattered to me. The night went by very smoothly with baby feeding every 2 hours because after 2 full days of not eating that good she had unfulfilled hunger. The next morning my breast were engorged so I was hand expressing and feeding it to baby through a syringe between feedings and everything was fine. I was finally released this day in the afternoon. They didn't give me any formula to take home because they would only give me what I needed when I asked for it which sucked! Thank god I had some at home that I had received for free. Once home I was engorged. I got a breast pump through my insurance (Ameda Purely Yours) and the suction was no good. The hospital I got a free manual pump and that one worked way better. I started pumping and bottle feeding breast milk to my baby and it's worked so far. Baby is 2 weeks old and my milk supply is pretty good even though I would like it to increase. A bit of advice, if you're planning to ebf don't tell the hospital because if you can't, you will be forced to do something you don't want to.