Have you ever been stalked/harassed after a breakup?

Question

My ex has been stalking and harassing me and law enforcement won't do anything about it, because "there's a difference between being buttheaded and criminal."

Answer

After my ex and I broke up I found out he had given me clamidia. I know that it was him because he was the first guy I had ever had sex with and my boyfriend got tested and came back negative. I ofcorse got treated and am clean now. Being someone who's planing on going into the medical field I know how important it is to tell the other person when something like that happens. I had deleted my ex's number and he had deleted his facebook. I even looked to see if he had made another but he hadn't. I knew his grandma had one and he lived with her at the time so I knew she would tell him. I really didn't want to tell her but I didn't have any other choice that was the only way I could have gotten the information to him. We'll what I didn't know was that he was already with someone else. I found that out when I got a bunch of fb messages from some chick I didn't even know going off on me accusing me of all sorts of things including trying to break them up with lies about him giving me clamidia. Well I just brushed her off and ignored her.

Answer

Dear lord, yes! And the shit he got away with....what the fuck was wrong with the police department. They basically just brushed everything aside with "boys will be boys! Do you really want him to go to jail?"

Yes!! If it made his harassment stop, yes, I wanted him in jail!

Answer

Keep bugging the police every single time he stalks you. Seriously. File a report and ask for a copy every single time. At some point they will do something. Tell them you don't feel safe. If this were my situation, I'd threaten to go to the media with every copy of my reports if they kept refusing to do anything. Also, whether they start listening or not, tell EVERYONE you know and trust what is going on. Even tell your HR at work if you feel like they'll listen. Don't worry about sounding like a crazy person. Having people aware gives you slightly more safety. Because stalkers try to isolate you. They bank on the police turning a blind eye and not helping you, and they bank on you being too scared to tell your friends, family, and coworkers, so you need to get the situation out there to get help any way you can. Also, get stuff to protect yourself with like a gun, taser, knife, or mace. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. And make sure you're not alone outside at night or in isolated areas. Get a cheap little alarm for your doors. You can get ones that aren't attached to a big system. They're only set up to go off if the door opens, disconnecting the magnets, and you can turn them on and off with a switch.
Being stalked is terrifying, and having no one help is even more terrifying. That is absolute bullshit the police aren't doing anything.

Answer

I have a restraining order against my ex husband. He can't come within 1000 feet of me and my kids.

Call them each time something happens, file a report. Tell them you are afraid- protect yourself. I got my license to carry and there aren't many places my 9mm doesn't go with me.

Answer

Yes it was a nightmare. I tried doing something but the cops said because there were no direct threats to my safety they couldn't do anything. I received constant texts and blocked calls. One minute he wanted me back the next he was insulting me. It was the worst thing ever. He also tried harassing my new boyfriend. That went on for months until I snapped, then it became every few months. He would call me from a blocked number every 4-6 months for like five years. Finally I lost my shit on the phone with him and told him i knew he had been in big trouble recently with the law and if he ever called again I'd find a way to have him in so much more trouble it wasn't even funny. I guess he took is seriously because he never called again. Sorry you're dealing with this, hopefully he moves on soon!

Answer

He threw dead cats on my bedroom window for a week.  Carved my name in his legs seriously one inch letters soaked the blood up with a bandana and tried to give it to me as a gift. We were seriously 14 and 15 i was terrified!

Answer

I'm so sorry you are going through this!! If you're scared, start documenting everything and then go to the cops again. They're the buttheads, LORD.

Answer

It's been 16 years since I left my ex... He is STILL harassing me. He has learned one useful thing in all this time: how to work the legal system. It's made him an expert creep... Sigh. But I still use the legal system when I need to even though it's only going to mildly inconvenience him. It does help encourage my ex to bother someone else.

Document everything. Every interaction. Eventually he'll screw up enough for a restraining order.

Answer

Well my experience really freaked me out and I apologize for the length. It was a crazy story. I dated a guy for about a year my junior year of college. He was a Marine (out on disability), served two tours in Afghanistan, and he had serious PTSD. I didn't really understand what that could entail until we dated. It was like Jekyl and Hyde when it was "acting up" for lack of a better way to word it. I remember we fell asleep to some alien movie (lots of guns). And when I tried to wake him up he was nasty to me and what he said honestly didn't make a lot of sense (he didn't remember any of this). So that's the context for this.
-
I broke up with him and he took it hard. At first it was just drunk calls, then flowers at my door.... But then (I was seeing someone and wearing his jacket) he jumped in my car at a red light. Scared me shitless. I'm sitting at a light on a very busy road with the windows down. I guess he was with a friend in the car behind me. But he reached in, unlocked the door, and sat down right before the light changed. I dropped him off really quick, saying I was late for work and couldn't hang out. But it honestly really scared me. That was the last time, so I didn't seek out the cops. But it completely changed the way I look at stalking.

Have you ever been stalked/harassed after a breakup?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey