Im so fed up and done with it...

Magdalena • 👶🏻7 May 2020, after 11 years TTC w/ PCOS. Married in Barbados, Sept 2016. Zoologist. Line manager
I have been trying to become a mum for 8 years in total & I am completely fed up!!! 
We got married 3 weeks ago and I am on the 4th out of 6 rounds of Clomid.
We got married and had our honeymoon in Barbados and happened past the fertility clinic there. While we were there we had a consultation and they have agreed to treat us.  I can't believe how crushing TTC can be. You try and try... Then either a BFN or AF slaps you round the face again.
The reason for my post aside from the rant is I want to know what would do.
You'd think it would be a no-brainier but there is one more spanner to throw in the works! We both work full time, yes, but remember we have just paid for a wedding and honeymoon. Also remember that I am sick and tired of waiting!
We can afford the total 8grand for Barbados including accommodation, flights, treatment, food, medication etc BUT not in one go now. In a year - yes - in two years, easily, but not right now. We would need a loan and then I can pay it back over the year instead. 
I'm torn between sensible me that says do NHS first and then pay for private and logical me that says, well if it hasn't worked by now, you might as well just go private and stop wasting time.
If you've actually read all that, thank you!!! I'm just so deflated.

Vote below to see results!