I had an abortion almost a year ago and I've become mentally unstable.. I have never cheated on my boyfriend until after the abortion, because I felt horrible and I wasn't thinking straight and I guess I was lacking support and attention:(  We have been together for 4 years in October. And I feel like if I have a baby it would make me happy and I wouldn't be so depressed anymore and I wouldn't want attention or even think about cheating. Which I haven't thought about cheating in a while.. I want to marry this guy he's great in every way and never has cheated he's just not like that he's a Virgo and I took his virginity.. but my emotions are off the wall I feel like I don't even know myself anymore after I destroyed his heart by cheating a few times:( idk what to do. Every time we have sex he cums inside me and I always think I'm going to get pregnant but I never do.. plus he has really low testosterone I'm surprised he got me pregnant the first time.