A Letter To Those Who Might Say "This Is Not My Fight:"

***i figured this wouldn't be read at the bottom by anyone who may have strong feelings in opposition to what I have to say, so I'm putting up here! If you disagree with me, can I know why? If you don't speak up, can I ask the reasons? If you have questions for me, I want to answer them. But let's all share our opinions  respectfully!***

White people, hi. 

I'm white; were you aware? I mean, technically, I'm a quarter Puerto Rican. My grandfather was an immigrant. But if you look at me, if you don't know my story, or my maiden name (Maria Caballero, for those unaware), I look very white. I get it. I've even had a black male coworker ask me for a "white perspective" on some of the things he didn't understand regarding how white Americans respond to black trauma and institutionalized racism. 

At first I was confused. I felt that I couldn't give him the perspective he wanted, because while I am white, my family is not. My husband is not white. My mother- and father-in law? Surprise, not white. My sons? Most of my best friends? My PASTOR, even? All black. And I LOVE them. 

And I've learned about them. Not just as an exotic or foreign group of humans, but the same way I would ask anyone about anything I found interesting. I've asked about music and family and jobs and college, but because of my love for these wonderful humans- just for who they are- and for my own children, I've asked the awkward questions that stem from being the only white person in a room, about hair and food and stereotypes. 

Some have asked me the same things, but like my previously mentioned coworker, they've also asked me for my thoughts on Philando Castile. Trayvon Martin. Alton Sterling. Sandra Bland. Eric Garner. Today, again, we were all rattled again by the summary execution of Terence Crutcher, and again, the voices most conspicuously missing are those of the white people who I know actually have something to say.  I've learned, through dialogues about a different perspective, that while the white voice SHOULD NOT be the only one that draws attention, we should still be using whatever fraction of influence we have to spark necessary change. 

No black man or woman I know will tell you to be quiet about the cause because you are white. Might they correct any inconsistencies you may have brought up, or elaborate on your social media post with their own experiences (because you haven't lived them)? Yes, of course! Rational dialogue and an exchange of factual information is key for all involved parties, whether they agree that societal racism is a problem or whether they've just been able to live their lives "without being affected by it." 

Friends -white friends-, with your privilege (be it desired or wanted or known) and position, speak. I don't know what else to do except for speak and share and grieve and love on those nearest me. But it is important that as our grief numbs and we feel that this violence against the people we love is inevitable that we continue to speak. Speak their names. Speak the truth. 

And speak to those LIKE us, AFTER learning from those not like us, with hopes that our children will not be the ones who die on the side of the road, but rather be the ones who spread love and compassion as they're allowed to go on living.