Hi all. Just wanting to vent rather than asking for advice, hope that's OK.

I went for my 12 week scan 10 days ago & was told that there was no sign of fetal pole (baby) and that my sac was measuring 5/6 wks. Got to go back on Monday to confirm no growth. I was told to expect bleeding and cramps in the meantime.

I've had some brown stringy discharge when I wipe so I guess that's the start of something.

I've gotten my head round the fact that my pregnancy isn't viable as I'm certain on my dates (we've been trying for a year & had 2 other chemical pregnancies along the way). I'm 37, my husband is 43, we have a 6 year old who's desperate for a sibling, it's him I want this most for.

Now I know my baby hasn't developed, I just wish my body would let go so that I can grieve, move on and try again. I'm not getting any younger and my mum actually started menopause at 35.

MMC's are so cruel. My body is still giving me pregnancy symptoms although my hormone levels are now dropping. I've been taking clearblue digital tests to see of the weeks we're going up or down, they're going down, right now I'm showing 1-2 weeks when I should be 14 today.

Anyway, like I said, I wanted to vent, get my experience down in writing in case anyone else goes through the same thing and feels alone.

I feel like I have 1 more try left in me, at least I can tell my son that we tried if he asks when he's older. I'm an only child and as much as I've had a good and happy life, I have lots of cousins. He has none. I don't want him to be lonely.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all luck in your journeys.