Timeline

We started talking a week b4 thanksgiving

He asked me out Dec 6th

Like Jan 25th-ish we broke up.. it was my first relationship ever and we like broke over something so dumb I don't even remember what it was

We got back together Feb 22nd

In M arch I started taking birth control

The middle-ish of April I like lost my virginity to him

I told him I loved him mid May

We broke up July 10th

Almost got back together like 23rd of august

that didn't work out and ended everything like sept 1st-ish He kinda says that I fucked with his feeling cause I said I want to get back together and within a week changed my mind (mostly because of my dad said I was stupid when I asked to hang out with him and everyone said no that's so dumb don't do that, I tried so hard to not listen to anyone, but I couldn't handle it and ended things with him)

He's dated 2 girls since and has been just like going for easy girls, at one point since then he got really drunk and texted me "ur an ugly fucking bitch Fuck off"

Lately he's been on my mind so much

Saturday he's going to hoco, and I'm gonna have to see pictures of him with his date (granted I know the girl and they aren't like together, they're just going as friends) but it's gonna be sad

I love him still, idk what to do. I feel like I wanna be with him, I'm not even sure he'd want to be with me anymore though.

???????