breastfeeding : sexual abuse survivor

Michelle • Married to love of my life & mother of 2 precious baby girls 💕🙏🏼
Just noticed crusting on my nipples ! 😳 I don't know why but it seriously makes me queasy knowing that milk comes out of my nipples 😖😨 I've obviously known that for a long time but the reality of it is setting in 😰 I have a past of sexual abuse and the idea of breastfeeding literally makes me cringe . I understand it's natural and don't judge anyone who does it. But I don't think I can mentally overcome these feelings . I feel guilty but I just can't bring myself to do it . 
Anyone else experiencing hesitation regarding breastfeeding? For any reason?