TMI bf moms please help

Putting my nipples on blast is so embarrassing but I'm getting desperate. Before anyone comments lactation consultant, yes I have one but she hasn't actually seen the damage. We're trying to find the best solution. Are these cracks?? My latch is fine, my nipples however were completely unprepared for this kind of change and so they've suffered (I of course expected some getting used to). I'm using lanolin, coconut oil, breast milk, airing them out, soothies, ice packs, the whole nine yards. Is this just something I have to get though? I don't feel like they're healing at all and the initial latch is excruciating.. I'm at a loss. My son and I have done fine with breastfeeding EXCEPT for these awful places. He's gaining weight fantastically and very healthy, which is the goal. But I am in serious pain. What I really want to know is if this is something everyone deals with? Do you have to just cry through the pain come feeding time and deal?