can anyone relate? Sil issues..

Question

My mil and sil continuously tell my husband and I what we "should" be teaching our child. Our son is 16mo. Sil has 2 children a 3yo and 6mo old. For instance, Her 3yo hasn't quite grasped to concept of sharing and rips things from my kids hand and says "no" or "mine". While I don't mind her as she is very young still my Sil will tell my son to share and her daughter will then take the toy or whatever away from him as if that was permisssion to take something from him. Meanwhile my son either doesn't care or has a cow. When I told her that he's a little too little to understand the concept of "sharing" quite yet, she replys with well that's why you teach him. In all fairness she does tell her daughter to share but doesn't reinforce the concept as her daughter ignores her and will keep the whatever away from my son. Mil agrees with Sil so no support on that front. Does anyone else have these issues with mil/Sil? How have you addressed the situation without conflict?

Answer

Mine is not the best option but I had the same issue and I'm a "don't put up with it" person so I got pissed and straight up said "do not tell my child what to do or tell me and his father what to do when yours lacks discipline to the point of constant contact from school worrying about his behavior and home life"
Worked for me but I dont know how to not be confrontational when it comes to my child.

Answer

Sharing is over rated

Answer

I had this issue before. I like to make sure they are aware that a young child does NOT have to share if no one was playing with the toy and they got the toy first. The child is entitled to enjoy his experience with the toy/item until they are ready to give it up. Once the toy is put down and the child moves on to something else, then the toy is up for grabs. Young children usually parallel play, so sharing is kind of over rated. At a young age I only encourage turn taking. Once they are a bit older I like to model cooperative play and sharing. They are more willing to share if others share with them as well. 
I have a lot more education and experience in child development area, so when people start acting like they know what’s best for my kids, I like to make them look dumb. I’ll throw out names and theories. Prove them wrong in a very “nice and polite” way... They just kind of back off and don’t say anything else.

can anyone relate? Sil issues..

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