balance

Does anyone else feel guilty when you do something away from your baby? I've had a lot of anxiety since giving birth. I worry about everything, traveling with her, that she isn't sleeping enough, her going to day care, not stimulating her enough, etc. I try to let it go and remind myself she's doing well but it's so hard. I feel like I've lost myself. I gained like 80lbs when pregnant. I still have about 30lbs to lose and I don't fit into any of my old clothes. My SO and I used to enjoy going out. I'm breastfeeding so going out for drinks, is just a drink for me and I just don't enjoy it like I used to... I just feel so guilty leaving her after working all week. He doesn't get it. It's become such an issue he told me he just doesn't even like me anymore. He's actually living at his parents right now, and I'm not sure we are going to work it out. This is all so much harder than I thought it would be.