Why aren't they there for me? Ready to leave...

Question

I have a horrible time opening up to people around me & really need to know if I'm overreacting...

In August I married my wife, I'm 33 weeks pregnant with our child. We have been together (on and off) for 2 years.
I've been there for her through everything.

My mother, best friend & my heart passed away 2 days ago.
Not unexpectedly, but from complications of a botched surgery. She fought for her life for 23 days, but the infection won.
I was along side her most days.
This is my first child & I need her more than ever now, but she's gone...

My wife hasn't been there for me at all.
Only "I'm sorry" "wish I could be there" & maybe the occasional, "how's your mom?"
But then would interrupt me with her own story of the day or an "oh okay"..
I told her 3 hours ahead of time before we had to pull the plugs. She was not there.
I watched her die on my own (along side siblings & father) but nobody to just hold me.
She started picking fights ever since. One after another. I'm having signs of premature labor, I just lost my best fried that I've never lived a day without, and she's over here picking fights.
Making all kinds of bogus excuses ("I didn't know you wanted me there" "I didn't have a baby sitter" "I thought that was a family thing")
Last night age left me crying my eyes out on the bathroom floor because she was angry at me. Didn't even return back home until this afternoon.
She's always selfish, but this is the worst.

I'm ready to get a divorce & leave...
Is it my emotions or should I call it quits?

Answer

Maybe its a mixture of both. Your emotional right now and she is totally clueless. Im not making excuses for but some people they genuinly dont know how to act in situations like this. They literally need to be told what to do. My husband was like this when my God Mother died. Doesnt mean he was being selfish or didnt care,he just didnt know what I expected of him.

Answer

My SO doesn't do death and emotions. He views it as a natural process and just doesn't see the point in getting upset. It sounds cold when I explain it, but he's just logical about, I guess. But with me, I'm emotional. I cry. He understands and would be there for me without me asking. He generally doesn't have words of comfort and I understand that's how he is. But what she's doing isn't right. She should've been there with you, especially if you asked her. That's what people who care do. Picking fights isn't the right thing to do, and it sounds very manipulative. It sounds a lot like what my ex did. It's not the same, but I was with my mom for two days when she was in labor and had my sister. That dickhead started a fight with me, tried breaking up with me, wouldn't answer my calls or text, and threatened to kill himself. All because I wasn't going to be over there that weekend. He knew my sister was being born, but he didn't care. It's just very manipulative. The behavior isn't right, and it shows they don't care. I'm sorry to say that. I'm not going to advise you on whether you should leave or not because I don't know what else is going on, but you have a lot of hormones right now and you need a lot of support because of the pregnancy and your loss. She isn't doing that. I'd take a break for now, personally if I was in your shoes. I'd ask for my space, leave or ask her to leave and surround myself with positivity and supportive people. Readdress the issues when things have calmed down a little. You aren't over reacting. That's shitty behavior on her part. I wish you the best of luck and send my condolences. Just try to relax and keep that bun in the oven, darling.

Answer

I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. My husband was the only way I made it through my sister's death. That's the time when you need your spouse the most.

I'm always a fan of couples counseling. Sometimes you need that neutral third party to really help illuminate how what you do affects the other person.

I'll need keeping you and the baby in my thoughts. Good luck, honey.

Answer

You shouldn't have to go through this alone. You needed you wife most and she's not there...you are in your emotions no one should go through that alone. I'm sorry for you loss sweetie. Keep your head up and try not to stress. Stay strong for the baby. 😘

Answer

She sounds really immature. And picking fights at this time after your mom died, that's the last you need. She should have been there for you, she should have wanted to comfort you. Sorry to say, but I would probably leave her. She sounds very selfish.

Answer

I know is off subject but are a same sex couple. I was confused by the post.. anyhow I'm I don't think your over reacting your pregnant and you loose someone you love this is the most important time to be comforted with a death and a bundle of joy coming there are mixed emotions to both. She should be more caring and be there for you I wouldn't consider divorce unless it's the last resort try talking to her about how you feel or maybe consider going to counseling

Answer

Monday is the funeral.. I don't want her to go.
She didn't want to be there in her life, why would I want her to be there after my mother's death? 😕
Is this wrong??

Why aren't they there for me? Ready to leave...

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