So I lost my virginity years ago to my first serious boyfriend.. his name was Ryan. Ryan was a junior and I was a freshman. So first off we met when I was kicked out of my friends lunch table because of the stupidest fight ever.. everyone else had no more room at their tables or were always asshats to me so i stood there for a minute not knowing what to do and he called me over to sit at his table. Him and his friends just kept telling me everything was okay and they'd get over the fight and stuff. I was just happy to have someone to talk to. Me and Ryan would sit next to each other everyday and just talk about life and such. We became closer and eventually decided to try dating each other. No he was some handsome prince charming, he was a geek with glasses, man boobs, and a long ass mo hawk that he rarely put gel so it'll always just be relaxed and hang down over his face. He was sweet though and funny..he was always able to make me smile even when I thought I was ready to put an end to my life.

We were about three weeks into our relationship when we hit finals week and when we'd finish our finals it was free campass so we could leave the school for the day if we wanted. Him and I both decided since we were done our tests and had nothing better to do then we'd head to his house to spend time together. It was around lunch time and my parents and his mom were too busy working to pick us up so we just walked to his house which was across town. When we got to his house his little Pomeranian named Bear attacked me with kisses. He is one of the cutest dogs I've ever seen. Anyways, we went to his room which was a complete mess.. the entire apartment was a mess actually. His mom was an abusive drunk who never did anything really besides treat him like shit and pass out on the arm chair after work. His place was seriously disgusting but I didn't let that bother me because I finally had alone time with him. We started off by kissing and asked each other questions like if we had any stds or if we felt we were ready for sex. He was raped by his brother in law when he was like 10 years old so he had always had problems when it came to having sex so he was still a virgin. I was also still a virgin. We both felt ready and both were clean...neither of us felt pressured or anything. We slowly started taking our clothes off and of course I was nervous since he was the first guy to see me naked and I believe he was nervous too. We continued kissing and then we stopped for a second so he could put on the condom then we continued kissing. He kissed my forehead and then asked again before putting it in if i was 100% sure I was ready and I said yes then I asked him the same question and he said yes. He slowly put it in and it didn't hurt like everyone told me it would. At first it just felt like pressure but then as he slowly started going in and out, back and forth it felt good. I was so wet there was a couple farting sounds and we would just laugh because it was funny to us. We felt so comfortable and happy. We really did love each other. It lasted probably about half an hour and then after he was done he kissed me and we cuddled naked and smoke a joint. I knew I didn't make a mistake losing my virginity to him.. I loved him then and I still love him today but after almost a year of being together oour depression tore us apart. He was too depressed to get a job or finish school so I dumped him because I wanted a guy that wanted to improve his life and do great things. I still talk to him from time to time.. he unfortunately hasn't changed.

Now four almost five years later I'm engaged to a guy that at the moment and hopefully for the rest of my life will be the love of my life. We have a beautiful five month old daughter together and I honestly wouldn't change it for the world.