Why I should/ shouldn't see my ex? Ladies help me out. I don't want to get with anyone else! I don't love him but can't stop thinking about him. It has been 5 months since I've been with anyone (he was the last person). Not even a kiss. I'm 20yrs old. We both hurt each other ALOT emotionally and even physically. I lost my dad 3 yrs ago and ended up drinking and doing drugs to the point my ex had to shower me (many times). In the end he got tired of taking care of me and broke my phone on my face, chocked me and left me with many bruises but the worst is the pain in my heart. I cheated due to being numb and lost and he made sure I knew it wasn't ok. Anyway he always tells me what he did isn't as bad as what I've done but in the end all I needed was my friend and he hurt me worst than anyone ever before. I don't want to talk about that! I now live in CA and he wants me to go out back to NYC next weekend. We have AMAZING sex. I've been so horny lately! I've stopped all the drugs and drinking. Finally got my shit together. Should I stay strong and foucus on my new life or give in and live/enjoy life with someone I know will make me have a good time?

UPDATE

I went to see him, spent the weekend. Luckily he didn't hit me but we ended up doing drugs and getting drunk most of the weekend. I had trouble sleeping comfortably because I wondered what would make him snap again. To everyone happiness I never saw him again! I still have trouble being at peace even in my relationship now. I am happily married for 3 months and when my husband speaks in a rough tone of voice I need to get away and cry. Trama is trama so ladies please do your best to get away from situations like this! The less trama the better. In the end we live and learn. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. God bless ❤️😘