killing time waiting for my FET

💞SuE💞 • 39/ TTC#1 4 rounds of clomid at 25mg. 1 round of ivf/fet failed dec16. 2nd round fresh failed 14feb17. fet in april17
so I got through August... and I got through September. 
It was so hard! 
after the adrenalin packed june, with decisions to do <a href="">ivf</a> after a heart breaking period, to injecting throughout July and having a scary and brave 3 August transfer everything was happening and happening fast
I got through it, the fear of needles the tears the fear of it all....
and 16 eggs 12 fertilized and 5 frozen later life just stopped. 
just like that.
I have ohss so the doctors decided to freeze to allow me to heal before transferring and I went along with it as I trusted them and still do
but I had no idea it would take so long!
then started the "sorry to mislead u but you need to come back after 3 periods and we have writings lists on the NHS sorry" phone calls.... 
I'm still waiting. 
waited patiently for a period which came after 55 days ( after I induced it) and now it seems were pushing ahead. 3 weeks of doing nothing, then 3 weeks of injecting then 2 weeks pills and then it's transfer day- if I'm lucky. 
if I'm lucky, I get to transfer 2 great embies in 8 weeks just a month short of my 39th bday. 
til then I'm waiting - killing time waiting watching the season change and autumn settle in, watching pregnant friends give birth and carefree friends fall pregnant.... while I wait and wait 
wait to transfer... wait to see if we succeed.... just wait to get older and older -
so I'll wait some more, patiently.