I was raped in 2012. It was forced consent but just because it was "consented" doesn't mean it was actually consented. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and everyday my mind still brings me back to that dark place. I wish I could forget the whole day... Never think about the man who raped me or the woman who allowed it to happen... but their faces are embedded into my memory. Their names have drifted but the day stays vivid in my mind. It breaks my heart and disgusts me. I get nauseated thinking about it and I always feel so much guilt. I've been tested for STD's a couple of times since, but my mind still wonders if my health will be affected later in life from the rape. I feel okay, tired and run down from my depression/anxiety but deep down I pray and know I'm healthy. But I still feel scared. I'm going back to my gyno to get another screening for herpes/HIV but in the meantime I can't help but feel anxious. I try to manifest GREAT HEALTH only in my life.