I am grieving after a miscarriage this weekend. I have been ttc for about 4 months. I dont know how to feel right now. I had an abortion 5 years ago and I feel like I am being punished. When I found out on Wednesday I wasn't sure if I was ready, I was scared and overwhelmed. By Friday I started cramping terribly and spotting and Saturday I had to go to the hospital because I couldn't take it anymore. They took my baby out and I felt so empty, so alone even with my partner standing right by my side. It wasn't until after I miscarried that I realized how badly I wanted that child. My partner blames himself for stressing me out and I blame myself. I want to try again but I don't ever want to feel this heartache again. 😭