January of 2016 I got pregnant.

February 13, 2016 I miscarried.

October 11, 2016 I was due.

Here I am, October 11, 2016.

Empty handed. In bed.

My mom is due any day to have her baby boy, but I'm left just enjoying my baby brother. It hurts. It really hurts. She got to keep her baby and I didn't. I didn't come home today with a baby in my arms, hearing crying, waking up to feed and change the baby, having the baby fully depending on me to keep it safe and fed and loved. No. I'm left to silence. And hurt and trying to be strong and waiting for my baby brother to come. And wondering how this is gonna really effect me. Am I gonna handle it or is it gonna prove to be more painful than I thought.. how do I go through things now...