Feeling fat and depressed( normally I don't post anonymously but I'm embarrassed I feel this way)

I am 14 weeks pregnant and I have always felt the need I was fat. My fiancé says you look fine but idk why I get mad at him when he tells me that. I have always struggled with my weight. My first husband made me that I was fat. He told me the reason he cheated is because I was fat. At that time I was 265 pounds I also had our son during that time . I lost the weight after he left me. Then when I was heading to my goal weight I met the love of my life. I started to get happy forgetting the gym and eating late at night and all. I just feel like I let myself down, now that I am pregnant and creeping up to 200 pounds and I'm not even close to giving birth it scares me. Am I the only person that struggles with weight. I feel like I am. I know my fiancé is sweet by telling o you haven't changed but sometimes I want that honesty or help. I just want to be happy with my self. I see all these moms on here some had a baby and they look AWESOME. I hate feeling like this.