so confused!!

So my cycles have been pretty regular the last six months, (I usually deal with irregular), and if I did my dates correctly..I should have started my period September 30th. Last months cycle was a little off, (I had period and then spotted for two days, 11days after my starting day). I took a test and it came back negative. Have yet to retest. I'm TTC and we used preseed a few times within my last cycle. I'm driving myself crazy!!! I keep feeling what they call "phantom kicks" breasts have been hurting on and off, but now tonight I am slightly cramping and have a little discharge. (Sorry for tmi!)
Can't seem to quite wrap my head around everything or what could be going on. Hoping for a BFP SOON! But afraid to retest because I know I'll be disappointed if it shows up negative again.