Should I pay for my best friends abortion?

Question

Okay so first off leave All negative comments to yourself. I'm asking this not to be shit on or for your opinion on her relationship but for legitimate advice. 
My best friend, 21 years old in an abusive relationship, has a two year old son, and is the bread winner of her family just got news that she is pregnant again. Her abusive boyfriend refuses to wear protection and she cannot take birth control pills. The boyfriend who is the father of their 2 year old is not working nor can he obtain a job because he does drugs and has a lengthy criminal record. I know my best friend does not want another child, but he is talking her into keeping it. They definitely do not have the money for an abortion, but I do and I want the best for HER. I really don't think the stress of another child is in her best interest and either does she. I am contemplating having a discussion with her about paying for an abortion if she would like. Is that wrong of me as a best friend? I know the news of a baby is exciting but she is in no position to add on to her family. What should I do?

Answer

If that's what she really wants and you're capable of helping her, I say do it. You're being a good friend.

Answer

As long as it's something she wants without your influence, yes. That's a very helpful thing to do.

Answer

I would be more likely to say yes if I didn't see this as a long term issue, not likely to be an isolated incident. He refuses to wear protection, she can't take the pill, and there was nothing I saw promising any change; I feel this is likely to happen again. What will happen then? Having abortions is not a long term plan to manage unwanted pregnancies.

Answer

Rather then paying for it,  help her and her child get away from him.  If he isn't contributing financially there is no reason for her to stay with him.  It's not healthy for the 2 year old to be around him either,  what if he his the poor child?  Get her away from him and then see if she still wants the baby.

Answer

I said no because it'll be a never ending cycle... He refuses to use protection and he won't let her take birth control, I can only imagine how many more pregnancies will happen. The solution isn't an abortion, the solution is her needing to get out of that relationship before he ends up killing her or her son. Invest some time Into helping her leave him!!

Answer

No, I'd be spending the money and helping my best friend get away from that ignorant asshole.....

Answer

I think you should help her get away from that guy as far as possible.

Answer

If that's what she wants. Otherwise there is other options such as putting the baby up for adoption and giving it a life instead of stopping it from ever having one.

Answer

I think it sounds like a situation she needs to learn from herself and grow up. Maybe she should leave the abusive boyfriend and take him to court for CS? Then he'll be forced to get a job.

Answer

She should contact one of the many charities that specifically help women in her position. It's been a decade, so I forget the name, but one of them helped me pay for mine due to financial hardship.

If it isn't a financial burden for you (the cost was just under $500 9 years ago; no idea what it is now), and she comes to you looking for advice or help, you can certainly offer.

My only concern from your post is that I don't see any indication that she has told you she is seeking an abortion. Did you simply word your post poorly, or are you assuming that she should have an abortion without knowing if that's what she's considering?

If it's the latter, I would not suggest offering any unsolicited help. Suggesting an abortion to someone who isn't looking for one is inappropriate.

Should I pay for my best friends abortion?

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