Wanting to vent/cry

❣️Caitlin❣️
I miscarried for the second time 9 days ago. And I've been generally sad but it hadn't really hit me until now. Here's a little(long) back story. My SO and I started TTC last year. When I got pregnant, my SO's bestie and his wife also started TTC baby #2. I ended up miscarrying at 10+6. They were eventually successful, excitedly telling us they were pregnant when they were 5-6 weeks. I was so sad, heartbroken. Putting on a smile and congratulating them, all the while going numb. I cried when they showed us their first ultrasound-not in front of them... ( before my second miscarriage). Our friendship has kind of drifted apart, they're busy with their family and preparing for baby, and we are just, hurting. We didn't tell anyone the second time I got pregnant, not wanting to tell anyone should something happen again. Well, unfortunately it did happen again, miscarried again at 10+6. Well just now, she posted on FB a simple picture, just her dining room, how she'd changed it around and wrote something to do with 'nesting'. And I broke down. I want to be happy for them but I'm hurting so much. I'm not the better person, something so simple has sent me into my first real meltdown since it happened. My SO is on night shift, I just wish he was here. 😢. Feeling emotional. Ok. Venting over. Thanks for reading.