Orgasm or not ?

I'm not sure if I have ever orgasmed.
Sometimes I feel an insane amount of pleasure but I'm scared to keep going and usually stop because I've tried making myself orgasm before and I always feel like I have to pee. And almost always it feels like pee. Is it pee or not? I've heard some people say it isn't and others say it is
I hold back during sex all the time and never fully enjoy it because of that

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