So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We've had a lot of problems. Mostly BC he has cheated on me multiple times. We have a son that will be 3 in February. A little over a month ago we split up or whatever BC he said he needed space to learn how to "love me right." after a week of me being gone he begged me to come home BC he said he just wanted space and thought I was only going to be gone for a couple days not a whole week. That same day he told me he had a plan for us. I asked him what it was and he said he wanted to get married. It was "time for him to grow up" and "stop being scared of marriage." I came home that night we had a very long talk and he told me how sorry he was for everything he has ever done to me and no man should ever do the things he has done to me, literally balling his eyes out. He even jokingly said "if you want more babies you better get to it." AND he told my mom the same thing when he talked to her the next day. Well we had sex...and a lot of it. Well last week I found out I was pregnant. Not sure how far along BC I haven't had my appt yet. He didn't seem very excited at all. Then when I tried talking to him he said we aren't financially ready right now. He has a point. But I told him we have time and in the next couple weeks we will be fine. Now mind you, I get word yesterday that he is cheating on me AGAIN. Of course he denied the whole thing. Then today he has the nerve to say to me.. And his exact words.... "Yeah I'm miserable. We aren't ready for another kid right now BUT OF COURSE YOUR GONNA HAVE IT. YOUR CHILDISH WAYS DRIVE ME CRAZY" Now. Someone please tell me how am I being childish. How could someone be so selfish to say such a thing to a woman???? And tell me how it makes me childish BC I REFUSE to get an abortion just because HE is the one not "ready"???? The most selfish thing I could do is kill a baby just BC he said to. Now my dilemma is... Keep the baby and end up leaving him BC of how he's acting and take care of 2 kids on my own. Or keep the baby and stay with him, hoping things will get better and he will get his head out of his ass? Even though the thought never crossed my mind, but even if I were to get an abortion, my options were I do and then stay with him and hate him BC I would be so mad. Or do it and leave BC I hate him. Or do it and everything be fine but who's to say he cheats again or leaves me for whatever reason??? Either way I lose and I haven't told anyone what he has said to me and I literally am stuck. All I have been doing all day is cry BC I'm so hurt and stressed and have no one to talk to. I need help😭😭