Disconnected

Over the past month, I have been nothing but excited about this baby, in fact I may have been obsessively cleaning, preparing her room, and our lives. Now all of that is done and I have two weeks until my scheduled c-section and my mood has done a 360 change. Instead of being excited - I'm scared about the birth. Instead of being excited to leave work I'm scared about losing my skills. Instead of being excited to see her, I'm scared that she'll have a condition, disorder, deformity. In fact, over the past few days I've engrossed myself in work to AVOID thinking about what's nearing.