I don't know what is with me recently because normally I'm a naturally happy positive person and long story short I ended up going to the US and marrying my fiance in April of this year I'm now 28 weeks pregnant with his son but I'm now in my home country .. The UK.

The reason we aren't living together is because he was emotionally abusive and he would stress me out to the point that I'd cry myself to sleep almost every night and felt worthless, now since I've left he's come up with lots of excuses to explain his behaviour and says he will change but when we fall out his real side comes out again and he's like "I won't change a thing for you, you're a coward !"

I'm sorry but I don't know anyone else who would stay in that situation with his short temper and he slept with the gun next to the bed , I'm new to america to I didn't know if that was a "must" .

Regardless of what happened ... The reason I'm posting this is because I'm getting closer to my due date (13th Jan) & I can't help but think that as soon as the baby is born and the council hopefully sort me out somewhere to live.. I'll be alone. Yeah I'll have family visiting occassionally but this is it , it will just be me and my baby Jacob. I'm scared that I might mess up or have a breakdown and kick myself for not flying back to america for the second chance when I had the chance.

I don't know if me doubting flying back is just my hormones or the fear of being a single mum or a way of healing after an abusive relationship , have you or anyone you know been like this ? Please help me.

...... Also, quicknote.. While I'm here I'm temporarily living with my older sister and her fiancé until the baby is born that way the government can help me out cause I can't work nd have no income just the little bits my husband sends me for food ( cause he only said he cares for the baby ) then Im made to feel guilty and he's there like oh just come back to me. Ugh , what do I do????