So for the past few months I've been dealing with some flashbacks of being sexually and physically abused by my cousin. My parents caught my cousin with me but I never talked about it. I wanted to but I was so ashamed because I had enjoyed what he was doing to me and I still am. Most of the police report came from my little sister because she had saw it. It's been 6 years and I'm fourteen now. A year ago a guy started sexually assaulting me on the bus, my anxiety got so bad after that that whenever my dad would kiss me on the cheek or hug me I'd flinch and run off to my room. Whenever I see the guy that assaulted me in school I get really anxious, especially when he stares me down. I hate it when guys feel the need to touch me.

People tend not to be kind to me so I'm made for a very lonely child. I made my first suicide attempt when I was nine and again when I was 11. I've been so depressed lately and I've started getting drunk and cutting. I've made friends but I still feel lonely and insecure. I want to belong somewhere for once. I want to be happy and feel confident in myself but I'm so worn down and torn. I know I should be over everything by now but it still hurts. I just want to be respected and be strong for my everyone. I feel like I've let everyone down and my parents don't even trust me anymore!😭