37+3 and feeling so down

I'm that person who acts so strong and never breaks down in front of anyone, I allow everyone my shoulder to cry in and I'm honestly to the point where I'm sick of crying myself to sleep and acting strong for everyone. I don't want my husband to see me breaking down but I seriously need to be comforted by him and although I feel this way I'm still a stubborn ass who won't let it happen.

Being sad everyday but not letting it out is taking its toll, I just apologize to my baby over and over again for feeling this way and possibly putting stress on him. I feel like a terrible mother already.