Today a friend asked me how I was doing, and I said, "I'm doing really well!" And just to prove it...I reached down and touched the metaphorical scar that was forming over my deepest hurt, my greatest loss, and when i did...even though it's been 4 months since I lost my tiny babe, it hurt all over again as though it had happened yesterday. See...heres the thing about grief that I am learning. It's not like other sadness, other hurt. Hurt and sadness generally fade with time. The memories get less painful. Grief doesnt. It doesn't mean you think about it all the time. You dont! You can even say, "I'm doing really well!"...and mean it, but when that place in you gets stirred...grief hurts with the same intensity as ever before. In a small way...I'm glad. I don't ever want to forget. Ever stop feeling that ache and all that love. I do want to move on. I do want to live fully in the present, and not in the past...but I cannot, and I will not...EVER forget. My child...you are loved. Fiercely loved. Forever.