And I'm totally okay with it. I had full intentions from day one to have this beautiful, calm, natural birth. I'm a very natural person in general, so of course I wanted this. I've always been one to find pregnancy and birth to be this beautiful experience, and I couldn't wait to have that experience myself. I wasn't scared or worried, in fact I was quite excited despite the aftermath. As my pregnancy progressed though, the doctor's were concerned with her growth. She seemed to be measuring pretty big, so a doctor ordered me a growth scan around 38 weeks to see. It turns out she was right. My little girl was already measuring 8lb 12oz at that point in time. My next appt with another doctor told me that I may not be able to have the birth I fully intended on having. My heart was broken, and my head was spinning. The thought of having to have surgery for something like a big baby was so upsetting to me, daunting, in fact. I went home that day thinking he was wrong and trying everything I could think of (with the exception of castor oil) to naturally induce myself. Unfortunately nothing was able to work for me. At this point I still had hope. I thought for sure I would get what I wanted. Come 40.5 weeks, I learned I was wrong. Two appointments a growth scan and two FST later, I find out she is still measuring big, 10lbs 11oz, big. She wasn't engaged at a -3/-4 station, she was sunny side up, and I had no signs of natural labor. It was time for me to think realistically. I went home and began reading up on Caesarian sections. I wanted to know everything from how they cut me, how long the procedure takes, to how long the healing process takes. I was a little weary but ready to conquer anything for my child. I ended up scheduling it for 41+1 because my contractions were showing signs of the placenta dying off. I was so calm the day of. Hungry, but calm. I walked into that hospital with confidence and strength and walked out with the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on.