Anyone else's husband or S/O stay out until 3am drinking?

Question

I'm really bothered by this. I'm 33w 3d and this seems to be an every weekend or every other weekend habit. The last time he did this I told him it bothers me that he stays out that late and comes home hammered. He got extremely defensive and accused me of giving him a curfew. Not only do I stay up and worry but he's 33 years old and we are about to have our first child I don't understand why he can't just have a few drinks and come home. Now he's out again and the worst part it he can never tell me around what time he will be home I guess I just have to assume that it'll be 3am or at some point? I really don't feel like I'm overreacting I have never given him a hard time about this and I don't think it's too much to ask for a round about time. Anyone else dealing with this or have any advice? Thanks.

Answer

He's gaslighting you and he knows it. Don't let him do that to you. Typically when people do this, there's something to hide or something to talk about and they're avoiding it. Put your foot down and press the issue. Hold your ground and don't shy away when he starts throwing ridiculous accusations at you because he will. My husband used to do that shit until he realized that the gaslighting no longer works on me.

Answer

It doesn't bother me. I get pay back and revenge. I open the curtains and jump on the bed and be really annoying. My partner goes you can stop now, I'm like but daddy baby doesn't care if your hung over you still have to look after me. This has changed his attitude a little

Answer

this would not fly in my relationship. of course my SO is always allowed to go blow off steam, stay out late, etc, (he usually doesn't tho) but if he was doing it every weekend and treating me like shit for having feelings about it? no way. he's about to be a dad. he might be struggling to come to terms with that, hence the drinking and 'rebelling,' but we all go through the struggle and he's not thinking about your feelings at all.

Answer

It is bothersome I can see that. But can I ask why don't you go with him? Obviously to a lounge or somewhere with a lot less commotion? Maybe he's just tired of being cooped up in house but you feel you can't get anywhere coz you're pregnant. I'm 33 weeks pregnant and hubby took me out to a nice dinner and afterwards I suggested going to a club and I danced like I used to pre-pregnancy, bump and all, he drank and danced but he knew he's got a driver back home. he was reluctant but agreed to go for an hour. We stayed till 2am and he loved it. It made me realise that I've been suffocating the man. I'm glad a did it. Only a suggestion, he may be just acting out

Answer

My husband is 30 years old, I'm 26. I'm 35 weeks pregnant with his baby#3 and my #2. I wouldn't worry about it too much while you are pregnant. Let him do his thing while he is still "free" of daddy duties because trust me, once that baby gets here he won't want to stay out all night with his friends every night. BUT, if he does then I would be telling him if he wants to act like a single man he can be one and go live with his single friends.

Answer

It's not right of him. Yes men get scared but mine is 32 he drinks a lot but never gets wasted and always always asks me to go to friends with him for the reason if I do go into labor. It will be a rude awakening if he is trashed while you are in labor. And he will end up feeling bad. I'll be praying for you

Answer

My ex did that when I was pregnant with my first. It never got better in fact it got worse after our son came. When our son was teething he was out with his friends and I didn't have any baby tylonal, it was the middle of winter and snowing and I didn't want to drive with him. I kept calling him and asking if he could please bring some home. Brought it home and threw it at my face. Then left and stayed out till 6 am. Yup! Needless to say I left him a year later after trying my best. Sorry you have to go through this. Esp during such a emotional time. Hoping your outcome is better then mine was.

Answer

I would say to him the next morning- now what if I would go in labor and you miss it or can't drive me cuz you're wasted? It's one thing to go out with friends and have a good time before baby is here but when you're getting fat along in pregnancy there's always that chance that you could go into labor. Does he keep in contact with you while he is out? Things to think about. I feel like he's feeling controlled which you guys just may need to talk some things over. Just maybe try not approaching him in a pissed off wat but more of a you're generally concerned and scared something could happen while he's out

Answer

The hell?? Yeah that is NOT ok. Who is he getting drunk with and what is he doing out until 3am?? Sure my husband enjoys drinks with his buddies but he is never out that late and is rarely ever "smashed" and it is a rare occasion that he even goes out. We had our first baby at 21yo and even then my husband didn't do that!! I'm not sure you can hold your breath that he will change once the baby is born.. he is obviously not seeing the problem with this, and more importantly he is not able to put himself in your shoes to see why it's not ok. He's a grown man and a father now, he can't be acting like a frat boy 🙄. You guys need to have a serious talk or therapy or someone to be a voice of reason who's neutral between you so he doesn't feel like it's just you.

Anyone else's husband or S/O stay out until 3am drinking?

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