I believed i was infertile as failed to conceive in previous relationship after 3 years of trying.

I fell pregnant after 3 months of trying with my new/current partner (my soul mate and the love of my life)

Over the moon.

My pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant the day of my missed period with a very faint line on the test. Followed by more tests to confirm.

The first 16 weeks I had quite bad morning sickness, except I would be sick in the evenings. Usually after dinner. The smell of everything repulsed me especially the cafeteria at work which I could suddenly smell from my desk.

I never really had any cravings but I went off almost everything. If I ate it once I wouldn't want to eat it again ever. Meaning we couldn't go to alot of our favourite resturants.

I had very worrying sharp pains quite regularly. To the point I was convinced I was having a misscarrage. I know now that these were round ligament pains.

I wasn't reslly showing untill i was about 6 months pregnant (on the outside anyway) my bump was very neat and small and forwards facing. I had always been worried about piling on the pounds when I was pregnant but to be honest I don't think my appetite really increased at all. If anything I would feel full up quicker and could never finish a meal.

I was measuring normal on the growth charts.

I knew I was all baby as my bump was always rock hard. I didn't think there was much water in there and had a feeling it would be a big baby. I didn't buy any baby grows that were less than 10lb.

I am very small and short so everyone assumed I would have a small baby. Especially as my bump was very neat.

I always knew I was having a boy but I didn't want to find out the sex.

However at our 20 week scan i was convinced I saw a little willy and balls between its legs. I did try to keep an open mind incase I was wrong but in my heart I wanted and loved my boy already.

I had a 4d scan but he was curled up in a ball the first time so we didn't get to see him. I had another one and he was still curled up but did get a glimpse. I wouldn't have another 4d scan. It wasn't as cute as special or as magical as I had thought it would be. It was actually quite stressful with all the prodding and poking trying to get him into the right position.

I had severe heartburn and lived on gaviscon for the last few months. Although I can't even really remember what that felt like now... it went away as soon as he was born.

I also had braxton hicks for the last few months which at times felt like they were progressing to full blown contractions but they would always stop and start.

2 days before my due date I had my first sweep. It was uncomfortable and made me really sore. I had a slight show a few hours after.

I had another sweep on my due date and nothing happened. I was booked in for an induction 10 days after my due date.

I had 2 more sweeps before this but nothing happened.

I was induced on the Sunday with the pessary. It gave me painful back contractions which lasted all through the night before finally wearing off 24 hours later. It also dislodged after a few hours leaving me sore and swollen.

They left it 24 hours to see if labour progresses as I was still having contractions but I wasn't dilating. They call this a 'rest period' (aka waste of time)

Monday night they gave me a single dose of the gel which again made my contractions stronger meaning another night of no sleep.

Still wasn't dialating though.

Tuesday morning 6am they gave me the maximum dose of the gel and within half an hour I was having crippling contractions. By the time my bf got to the hospital at 9am I was nearly crying in pain. The contractions were on top of each other and coming thick and fast.

This went on all day. They gave me some gas and air in the evening as I was really struggling. They then gave me pethidine to help me sleep at 9pm when my bf had to go home. I couldn't sleep I was in too much pain. I was just drowsy and a bit spaced out and not making much sense when trying to tell the midwives I think the baby is coming. They told me i wasn't dialated so to have a hot shower to try and ease the pain.

I stood in the shower for about an hour and my mucus plug dislodged completely.

I went to go to the toilet and was sure the baby was coming.

I begged them to examine me again as I was sure I could feel it and wanted to push. But they are only allowed to examine you very 4 hours due to risk of infection.

At 12pm they finally examined me and I was 8cm dialated and they rushed me down to delivery calling my bf and my mum back to the hospital.

My bf woke up in such a panic he hit his head off the bedframe and cut his head open 🙈

I pushed and pushed and pushed for 7 and a half hours straight with no epidural just lots of lucozade and encouragement from my mum and bf.

The baby's head was in the birth canal but I just could not push him out.

I ended up having a forceps delivery.

They placed my baby boy on my chest and I remember thinking he was so big like a little baby seal.

He was quickly taken off of me as he wasn't breathing and was turning blue.

It was the most distressing moment of my life so far. I couldn't see what was happening. The room filled up with doctors and nurses surrounding my baby. While the head consultant was between my legs stitching me back together.

They finally got my baby breathing and I realised at that moment I would die for my baby and that there was nothing in the world I loved more then him.

He was 13 days late and weighed 9lb 5 which shocked everyone. My midwife had told me he would be around the 7lb mark!

He is an absolutely beautiful baby boy. I'm sooooo blessed and thankful to have him.

Parenthood is much harder then I thought it would be. But we haven't had an easy time. He caught the RSV virus at 4 weeks old and had respiratory failure and stopped breathing in my arms. He was in hospital on an oxygen machine for 8 days and I did not leave his side.

I haven't slept much since he was born. My main purpose in life is keeping him safe and making sure he is ok. I don't want to go into the virus experience in detail as it was the most traumatising thing thats ever happened to me... even more than the birth and day by day I'm trying to put it behind me. He's ok that's all that matters.

He's a strong little lion heart and if anything it just makes me love him more. He needs me and I need to be strong for him.

I don't think I could have any more children after the things I've experienced. But I'm and only child and so is my boyfriend and I never wanted to have an only child of my own!

I will have to keep you posted on the sibling front.

That's my journey. I am now a mum. My son is the centre of my universe.