hopeless romantic
i'm an 15 y/o elite athlete. i'm small, compact and strong. i'm a pretty girl, and like to think i'm above average. i'm likeable and funny. i'm smart and mature, taking classes at my com. college. since i've been leaving my hometown every winter for the past 3 years, i've grown to be extremely adaptable and independant. i know how to handle many different situations of all kinds.
my parents are extremely strict. i have my goals and i know what i have to do to get there. i'm not allowed to date. my 17 year old sister isn't allowed to date. i wasn't allowed to wear makeup until very recently.
i want to date. i know i'm ready. i'm a hopeless romantic. i'm jealous of most girls i know that have boyfriends. i have dreams about being with someone. i want to love. my parents think that it will distract me. i'm not going to date as soon as i can...i just want the option if the situation ever arises. i don't plan on dating during my competition season. i've had quite a few crushes over the past three years and i've noticed somthing.
even though i've been told and i know i'm above average (attractiveness wise, personality and looks), none of my crushes has ever liked me back. i feel like if someone likes me, it's someone who i only think of as a friend. then i change my ideas about him so i can be kinda into him. i'm sick if settling for less than I want. i feel like i'm never going to find somone. i feel like i don't attract anyone because the people that i attract aren't the people i want to be with. they 'don't count' in my perspective.
if anyone knows this feeling...and knows how to help...please...help me.
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