Insecure.....?

I feel awkward talking about this. I'm not usually an open person, but I feel like I have a negativity that is clouding me and might possibly be affecting me.

Most of you ladies know of what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about hearing about other people's happy news of being pregnant.

Why am I so damn selfish? How do i change this?

I'm selfish in this way: (I always think when hearing their news) "ouch, that hurt. Another slap in the face that I'm still not pregnant (I'm somewhere around 20 months of ttc, give or take a month or two)."But here I am still trying to be happy for them and trying to put my own feelings aside and here I am trying not to be selfish and all I do is pray for them for blessings of safety and happiness but a part of me is hurt still by their news. I just have no freaking idea on how I change this damn negativity. I don't need it and I sure as hell don't want it.

Maybe it's just my insecurities and fears talking. Having pcos has been a major challenge for me and I've done my best to change it all. I've lost 67 pounds and now have regular periods but a part of me just feel so damn broken. Even after all this work, I've nothing to show for it. Maybe it's not my fault, maybe it's timing. All I know is that these insecurities are driving me crazy and affecting my ability to be happy and exciting for others and I want it to go away.

How did you make your negative thoughts go away? Thanks for your time.