Before my son came along iv always imagine having a big family 4 or 5 kids. I grew up 14 years without a sibling and when my brother did come along people thought I was his mom and gave me dirty looks. I hated being the only child. I don't want my son growing up the same. But to be honest right now i cant see myself having any more kids. And that makes me so sad that when I think about it I cry because I do want kids. My husband works at a factor it pays well but he works nights so he sleeps during the day. He does what he can while he is awake and here for 3 or 4 hr or on a bad day just 2 hrs. So I kind of feel like I'm in it alone. I don't work so I'm home all day with the boy. Which is what iv wanted just to stay home with the kids to be a house wife to be there for my kids where I felt my own mother wasn't even though she was physically there. (She just loved the tv more) any how my husband keeps bring up me getting a job again. And iv been thinking tonight as he is at work and my 5 month old boy fussing still asleep all night and me have not yet gone to bed at 2am....how in the he'll am I to get a job and come home and take care of the kid and not sleep and work the next day when my husband feels that he has more right to him needing sleep than I do ( or at least that how I think he feels) and I have a feeling that wouldn't change even if I got a job. He is not a bad husband at all. He's taking the boy after he comes home a couple of times this past week so I could sleep off a cold i had. He has even taken care of him all day on his day off with me not lifting a finger. Made a bubble bath for me and took care of him while I relaxed once too. So he does stuff, he is amazing and I love him but with his hours I feel like a single parent. I really don't know how I could take a job especially the fact it has to pay more that just for day care. I know this might seem stupid and I'm sorry for that. I know alot of women work and take care of there multiple kids single parents too. I just dont know how you do it and i am amazed. I just feel like I'm a horrible mother....im suppose to be like all the other mothers out there supporting their family and I feel like i wouldnt be able to handle a job. Not to mention the only people I have left him with is just family.