sex and the inability to keep a erectrion

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we've got a little girl who is almost 3 and throughout these 5 years we've always had a very open line of communication between us. I know what he likes, he knows what I like etc... That is until I try and talk about his ed... and to put it bluntly, I'm fed up with it. I get that it's a confidence thing with men, but after 5 years you'd think we'd be able to talk about it. I go theough stages of believe it's my fault. That he's not attracted to me etc and apparently it never is. Birthdays and anniversary is a definite no go on the sex front. We have sex maybe 2 times a month on a good month recently we've not been intimate at all. It's always on his call. We had a conversation a good few weeks back about porn and such and he said he masturbates like 3 times a week.... sorry I need to be able to tell someone. But this hurt a hell of a lot. I've tried everything. Now I don't want him to touch me... cuz when we do have sex it's always a quick session... I guess I just want to feel wanted... thanks xx