So I have a few concerns about my mum and her smoking. It's a difficult situation because she puts a lot of stress on herself and her way of dealing with it is to smoke, and she does this in her kitchen at the table without any doors or windows open. I used to smoke myself so I understand what's it's like to crave a cigarette, but at the same time I wouldn't dream about smoking around someone who's pregnant. Initially after announcing my pregnancy I had to remind my mum that when I visited she would have to smoke outside because of me inhaling the smoke. My midwife told me that inhaling cigarette smoke is just as harmful as smoking myself, and I find it quite rude to just spark up in front of somebody that you know is pregnant. For the most part my mum understands this and will go outside for the brief periods of time that I visit her, but sometimes she doesn't bother and I have to ask her to stand outside or I'll leave the room, but she gets so defensive over it and starts saying things like "it's my house I'll smoke where I want to". I understand that it's her house, but I'd rather she gave me some warning sometimes and asked if I could go into another room while she smoked if she didn't want to go outside (my stepdad smokes in the kitchen too when I'm there), I just find it dead rude and because she doesn't open any doors or windows, the smoke lingers for hours in the kitchen which is where we normally sit and have a cuppa while we catch up with each other as my step dad likes the lounge to himself to watch sport on the tv in total silence. I'm just concerned because she smokes infront of my young nephews in the same way, and I don't want her smoking around my baby. I was told I had asthma from a very young age and part of me thinks that could be due to my mum always smoking around me when I was little, she doesn't seem to care that children shouldn't inhale the smoke. I know if I tell her I don't want her smoking around the kid, she'll do it anyway when I'm not around and I don't want my kid ending up with asthma as well (I know it doesn't necessarily cause it but I don't want to risk it makings anything worse). Tbh I don't think smoking around children is appropriate in any situation but as far as I'm concerned others can do what they like as long as it doesn't harm my child in any way (it's not my place to tell other parents what they should and shouldn't do with their own children), and I know my mum won't see a problem in lighting up around my child. I don't want this to cause an argument with her but if I suspect that she's smoking around my baby then I will stop allowing her to have him/her at her house, she will have to come to my house to interact with them or we will meet somewhere midway as we live in different counties. I feel like I'm panicking over something that needn't be stressed over but it's just the way she's happy to smoke in my face and those of my nephews without a concern in the world about the negative effects. I know I need to speak to her but I could use some advice on the best way to approach the matter as sometimes I come across as quite blunt and insensitive. I also worry that she will reassure me that she won't smoke around the baby but she'll do it when she knows she'll get away with it as she's been known to behave like that in the past. In every other way she's been incredibly supportive of this pregnancy and excited about her 5th grandchild (my brother has 4 and this is my first) so I can't fault her for anything else, just the smoking. I'm not very good with getting my points across which is why this has been so long winded. Advice would be nice, I'm not looking for criticisms.