Got news today...

My little brother (21) is engaged to his fiance (30) they have been engaged about a month now. They were together 6 months and living together for 3 when they got engaged. But their wedding day wasn't until August 2017 so I figured if they could make it to the wedding day after living together all that time they could make it for the long haul. Well, apparently, they got news that his fiance's cancer has come back for the 3rd time... I like her, she is a nice lady and I feel horrible for her luck... This has caused them to bump the wedding up to November 13th 2016.... Yes, 10 days from now. I feel part of the rush is because they want him to be able to pick up the shared custody of her two kids that she currently possesses (though I don't know it will work that way if either father of the two kids tries to claim full custody).

This is a horrible situation for them and I want to be there for them... Then there are the complicating factors of my life that I feel horrible and selfish for even second guessing my ability to attend... But I'm 37 weeks pregnant now. I'll be 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant on the day they plan to get married. I live 6 hours from the city they live in and my husband may not be able to get the time off with such short notice so I may be driving myself there for their wedding. This makes me so anxious but not going doesn't feel like an option... The least I can do is show my support for my brother... Regardless of how rushed I feel the situation is... My brother is the type to always do things the hard way and live life as he sees fit. Talking to him about pressing pause and double thinking this won't change anything. As a protective sister my only option is to be supportive and have his back when things get hard.

Normally it would be a no brainer... But the anxiety of such an uncontrollable variable being thrown in less than 2 weeks before my due date is crippling and even though I know the chances are slim of going into labor that early the small possibility is terrifying. I have made up my mind to attend no matter what... I just can't help but be worried about unexpected labor.

In the end it is such a horrible situation for everyone...

holy stretch marks

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