I wish I would just fucking drop dead right now. I'm not even saying it metaphorically. I wish I could just kill myself but I'm promised I wouldn't. It's so bad. I just want to die. I chose the wrong career for me and I'm just having a mental breakdown and I can't transfer out of it and I can't drop out and go to a different college with different courses because I don't have the money to pay it. There's not even a year left of this but I just started a few months ago and it's already hell. I'm just ready to end it all but I can't. Words cannot even begin to express how bad I want to die.