Scared to hope, but still doing it

I have been TTC for 9 months, but for most of those months I can see I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't start charting until July; and I didn't have sex at the right time the first month... or even the second month bbt charting. Still I had hope for those months. Then I had an anovulatory month, and finally, although my period was only three days in September, and my Ovulation was very soon after that and different than the norm, I feel that this month might be it. I might be pregnant. I'm scared to hope this time, even though I have literally no period symptoms that I normally do. I'm scared to hope this time, even though my chart so far looks very promising, with implantation dip and what appears to be a potential third teir to my temps. I'm scared to hope, even though deep in my gut I feel it's true...because isn't it always true for those TTC who 'just know' and end up pregnant? What they don't tell you is that they just knew every month until their period came. I'm scared to hope that this is my month... but maybe, just maybe... it is...