I'm scared 😩😩

It's makes me feel inadequate that I'm almost 21 and have never had a boyfriend. Even the guys I dated that said they liked me and told m show much never turned it to it. Like the guy I'm seeing now. We dated last summer and have been best friends since. He takes care of me and is honest to god my favorite person. He told me he likes me and can see himself dating me agian, and that the next time he dates he will be trying to wife someone. He says he is just afraid of loss at the end of the relationship and that that makes it really hard for him to be ready to date. His last girlfriend cheated on him SOO many times even after he kept giving her chances. It broke his heart and I know that, but I'm not her. It's not fair to him that he got his heart broken by someone he was in love with, but it's not fair to me to I'm so consumed with fear because I'm falling for him. I have to be afraid and keep in the back of my mind that we aren't together.... I don't have any right to him. He could leave at any point.... it would break my heart because I've never wanted anyone like this. He is my best friend, my confidant, my first love......he tells me he will always be honest about his feelings towards me because after being cheated on he would rather tell me the truth that play me. But as the only thing close to a relationship was my last best friend/friends with benefits, who had sex with someone else and told me so nachalantly like we hadn't agreed to lose our virginitys to each other it's hard for me to trust words. He tells me the last thing he wants is for me to be to afraid to ask him something or talk to him, but this isn't something I feel I can keep going to him with because he reassurances just make me more afraid. Because they make me fall deeper.