FTM mom experience- day 3 postpartum

The first two days are the hardest, im on day 3 and almost gave up on breastfeeding. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with, it's exhausting and i felt like a failure but don't give up, I thought it was just me until I came on here and saw older posts that gave me encouragement. You may or may not go through the same thing I did but as a FTM people didn't tell me that I would be shaking non stop for hours even after the c section, or that I would be so emotionally unstable, just wanting to sleep but have to feed EVERY 3 hours even though it took 30 minutes or an hour to feed, and every time she would latch I would immediately dose off and tried my hardest to stay awake but it was nearly impossible. While this is all going on, I was in PAIN, having a c section is a major surgery so moving a tiny bit was terrible, all of your ab muscles are completely gone. Also the baby will feed great the first day but the second she would fall asleep after latching and it was incredibly frustrating because I thought she was STARVING, it's hard to imagine her stomach being really tiny. But she's okay, I'm okay and we can get through this together. You both will be learning every step of the way. I have decided to not breast feed directly, only through a pump until my milk comes in. It hurts like a mother and it's relieving to see exactly how much she is getting. I will try to pump for every feeding but if not I'll use formula for in between. And that's okay. I wanted to be super mom so badly and I cried and cried but knowing she's healthy either way makes it better. Your baby will be worth every second of pain. Oh and don't forget to eat! After 32 hours of labor and the distraction of the baby, my hunger pains went away so I didn't realize how hungry I really was.