wish to have baby of another race and country through IVF . But husband does not approve. what do you think?

Question

I am an Asian healthy women and my husband an Asian man and can have babies naturally. Actually already have a kid who is asian through natural process and has our genes. Now I am thinking to have a baby of other race and country say european or american through IVF. But my husband said if you have a baby like that I will divorce you.  He also said that people will consider you as a bad women and they will talk behind your back. I said nobody has to know it, since we are doing IVF  I get to give birth to the baby. And we can use my husband's sperm and we can use a donated egg. So nobody will have to thing wrong and feel bad. I am OK if my egg is not used. Thus, We get the genes I want, I get to be the birth mother of the baby and my husband gets to pass his genes in the next generation which means he gets to be the real father.   Isn't it a win - win situation.  Plus I am clean and I don't have an affair with someone else  if that is the concern of people.  
   My husband says people will think I am a bad women. And he disapprove all together. In this case he won't give sperm and he will divorce me.  
    Am I asking something wrong? What do you think?  Will there be any problems in this  ?

Answer

I think in his eyes it won't be yours and his. I think he's worried that people will think that you cheated. And that will look bad on you. Expecially if it doesn't look exactly like your other child. I think that he doesn't want to have to explain that to people. I am not of the same race as you but that is what it sounds like to me. It's just an outsiders opinion and I'm not saying what you want to do is wrong.

Answer

I'm Asian but my husband is not and we have a mixed child. I do not feel my child is any more or less special because she is mixed nor is she genetically superior. She's special because she is mine. I personally don't think it's worth it, if it will cause marital problems. Your mixed child will come to feel it's causing grief and what will your full Asian child think? If it's important to you to raise a child of a different background, perhaps adoption will be easier for your husband to accept or you can always raise your children in a or many different culture(s).

wish to have baby of another race and country through IVF . But husband does not approve. what do you think?

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