Four kids by four different men and ttc another?

Question

I've had MULTIPLE failed relationships as you can tell. My family gives me crap about it and say they're embarrassed for me. My youngest is 3 and my bf and I recently decided we want a child together. My oldest is 14 and was excited about the news ( we just asked her opinion about having another sibling.. we did not tell her we were ttc.) I just finished my masters and have an awesome job! I feel as if I'm doing quite well for myself. I told my family yesterday and everyone gave me a sour face saying I should find a husband first. My sis even mentioned me getting sterilized smh. I just want you guys opinions on women with multiple children by multiple men. I do not regret any of my children! ( they're ages are 14,12,4,3) also any woman here have children by different men? Anyone give you crap about it?

Accepted Answer

Not to be rude or mean or judge but don't you think you should try and know why you have had failed relationships. I mean having different baby daddies. That's probably what your family is trying to tell you. Personally I feel you should just focus on your present kids now. You don't know if you and your current boyfriend will last. Try and learn what went wrong in your past relationships and grow from it.

Answer

Who cares! As long as your children are well taken care of it should not matter. However....I would stop having unprotected sex.

Answer

My MIL has 5 children. Only my husband and his older sister have the same father. They're 27, 24, 21, 12, and 10. My husband cannot stand his mother as even now she is constantly jumping between men. So what example is she setting for her two youngest daughters? My husband thought nothing of it when he was younger, but as he got older he realized his mother had no respect for herself or her kids. So maybe it isn't what other people will think of you but what your kids will once they're old enough to understand how relationships and other things work. I agree with another poster and suggest you examine your MULTIPLE (as you put it) past failed relationships and why they didn't work out. Forgive me, but how long have you even been with your current boyfriend? I don't think it's a good idea, but it's not my body/relationship/choice.

Answer

I have to agree with your family.

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I do think you should take some time to make sure you and this boyfriend will work out first before trying to have a baby! Maybe try to understand why your past relationships didn't work it's not about regretting your children but 4 baby daddies is a lot and 4 different people to deal with when you have 4 kids is a lot so you could possibly be adding a 5 children and a 5th person to deal with

Answer

I have 2 kids from different dad's. And I told myself when I get pregnant again I'm gonna be married. So I set standards for myself. I wanted to make sure I had a home and was married. I am currently having baby number 3. Married and have a home.  And got to decorate my first nursery. It was quite an experience and so happy i set a standard for myself as a woman and role model to my children. I also am working on my masters and have a great job. So I know the feeling of having your ducks in a row, mentally. Now to get them in a row emotionally should be next!

Answer

I personally feel like there is a problem that you need to figure out first. Like why are there so many men and baby daddies but no long committed relationship. Do you rush into having children and then it strains relationship and you now have a child but not a "family". I guess as long as you care for your children and can do so alone then it's none of my business but you are asking. If you were my sister honestly I'd probably tell you the same thing. Try working on yourself and your relationship before bringing another child I to a broken home. You'll do what you want and that's fine but think about what your family is trying to say they just don't gave a tactful way of saying it. Good luck with life dear hope it works out however you want it to! :)

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I can understand where they're coming from. You keep having children with people you can't commit to, or that they can't commit. Looks like you're picking the wrong guys.

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I think I would want to be married this time around if I were in your shoes. God bless our marriages he shows favor and if you put him first and do what he says you will see what I'm saying. On another note no one opinions really matter but that's how people are they judge one another but I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do and however you choose to do it ❤️

Answer

I'd have to agree with your family on this one. I'd just enjoy your new job and the kids you already have! No sense in rushing to get pregnant again. 
If your boyfriend and you are still together in a few years and married, then go for it. But definitely don't have a kid with him just because you're in a new relationship.

Four kids by four different men and ttc another?

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