moving on from mmc

Will I ever move on From my mmc I found out I was pregnant in January this year so excited it's all I ever wanted going for my 12 week scan in march baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks that broke my heart 💔couldn't stop crying didn't want to see anyone me and my other half wanted to start trying again and found out I was pregnant again in June I was so scared thinking it will happen again went again to my 12 week scan in august trying not to look at the screen I knew something was wrong baby had stopped growing at 8 1/2 weeks heart was completely broken 💔again what was I doing wrong for my babies to keep getting taken away passed it at home had a d&c with the first holding it in my hand looking down at it I could see it eyes and everything never seen nothing like it in my life I was shocked it hurt me even more I feel like crying all the time everytime I see someone pregnant or hear of someone's pregnancy it hurts I just want to move on iam now trying again but so so scared it will happen again will I ever have my rainbow and ever enjoy my pregnancy thanks for reading 💔❤️😔👼👼xx