My molestation is messing with my relationship

So I was touched but not raped when I was 6-12 and it was from my grandmother's new husband at the time. I was scared to tell my mom and family for the longest time, because I knew they would not believe me and they would get mad at me. But because of suppressing those feeling for as long as I did. I am 21 now. It messed me up!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. This is the longest relationship I have ever had. Because let's face it I have every problem I can think of. Not only being touched, but a abusive drunk father who left and calls all the time saying I'm a mistake and how much he hates me. I'm a mess and this kind and loving man came into my life.

I feel like I am stuck in the "honey moon" phase. I cry everytime he goes to his own room to sleep (we live in the dorms). And i feel like i need him all the time. I have this...sexual feeling that never goes away EVER. My body could be swollen from doing it too much and he starts to get bruised. And my head is telling me that I have had enough and I should stop, but it's a feeling in my chest that wants to continue till I definitely can't anymore. It's making him feel like he is not enough for me. He is! I'm just messed up and it's the sexual hunger that I have that does not go away!

I don't know what to do. It is exhausting to feed the hunger. My wrist is hurting from having to masturbate all the time to slightly make the feeling go away