I messed up... and now I think I'm pregnant.

Gale • Seventeen, dancing queen, two left feet.

Please don't judge me. I don't need that right now. Thank you for reading.

So, I'll start by explaining a little about my situation. I'm almost 18, and am in an open relationship with a guy who's a couple of months older than me, and lives an hour and a half away. (Neither of us can drive, so unfortunately it's difficult to see him often.) I'll nickname him D. Then there's my side-guy. I'll call him T. D and T know about each-other and get on fine, so everyone is happy.

A week and a bit ago (Wednesday 26th Oct) I hooked up with T. No big deal, it was totally consensual and everything, except... a condom came off inside me. He didn't ejaculate and we got a fresh one afterwards so I thought everything would be fine, as my period was due on Halloween anyway. I also forgot to do the water test to the used ones afterwards, as my parents got home before I expected them and I had to throw him out of the house in a panic.

I didn't get a Plan B because my period was due any day. I don't even know where to get them from near me, and I think I'd also have needed parental consent as I'm still technically a minor - something which I could never get.

Fast-forward to now... my period is 7 days late, and I think I might be pregnant. D is quietly losing his mind but T doesn't know. I'm going to test tonight and am absolutely terrified. Everything about my body feels off... I don't feel bloated but I'm constantly dehydrated and my breasts hurt a lot more than what my PMS usually causes. I'm hoping it's just psychosematic, as I really can't have a baby right now.

As sad as the prospect makes me, if I am pregnant, I have no choice but to have an abortion. I am still in school, am not working, and want to go to university. D has said he'll stay by my side no matter what choice I make, but deep down we know that there is no real choice.

The bottom line is that I'm scared, and that's why I'm confessing here. I don't want pity or charity or even sympathy, I just want someone to understand what I'm going through and tell me that it will all be okay - even if that is a lie.

Thank you for reading to the end. Please keep me in your thoughts, and I'll update as to how the test goes.