So basically here is the scenario:

I met this guy from tinder and we started texting each other everyday for like three months then we finally met.

We grew really close during those three months. Like we would text and skype everyday all day. He became a close friend and I was smitten. He became my confidant, i became his.

When we finally met the date was awesome. At first. I felt very comfortable. He even went to my side of town. We ate at a restaurant he knew i loved. The conversation flowed effortlessly and it was exciting. However, after, he wanted to go to a park- Privately. so we went. And we made out but i didnt really know what was happeninh ane how to (new to dating).

He was frustrated with my lack of experience. He didnt want to continue kissing me. I was offended. After that it was cold between us. And at the end when we said good bye he frikin fist bumped me. It was so awkward. I cried after when he left. I felt empty and sad. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

You see i have a history of fuckboys. i lost my virginity to a fuckboy who took advantage of me, used me and that really fucked me up.

Anyways, back to him. we started talking less and less. I was mean to him because i was so confused. I was trying to push him away. Maybe scared he was like the boy i lost my virginity to? I started adding and blocking him on social media over and over again. I felt crazy and played. i didnt know why.I asked him again and again what he wanted from me, frustatrated with the situation and he said, " you dont understand. i always get what i want. Dont be defensive" (he has a princess complex- spoiled son of a millionaire.) It was insulting and it made him look arrogant. He also said i was just traumatized from the past and he didnt do anything remotely wrong for me to treat him this way.

He moved away and i deleted him one last time. I wanted to forget about everything.

But i cant forget about him. That was 3 months ago. Recently when i watched a movie that reminded me of him i cried and couldnt finish the movie. I just cant get over him. I want to forget him but at the same time, sometimes i feel like i made the mistake of deleting him.

He's out of the country now and probably hates my guts, has forgotten about me and is probably dating a new girl. He also has a really big ego and will probably make me feel weak for adding him back again *if. But he was always a good friend too and we had a good connection. Ugh.

Anyways should i add him back, swallow my pride and say ' sorry i miss u, sorry i accused u of playing me. I was mean. ur a good friend/guy." It was messed up but for some reason i still want to be connected to him.

Or should i continue to forget about the whole situation and move on and learn from it? I dont know why i cant juuust forget and not feel anything about it.

Sorry for the rant and long paragraph. Thank you soo much for reading up until this point.

help!

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